Well three young couples were ridin' along

They had the directions messed up wrong

So they stopped in Lovelock to take a snooze

They were on their way to a friend's wedding

They had no idea what they were getting into

When through town they happened to cruise



I was working as a gas station attendant

When a couple pretty girls and some men did

Ask me if I knew where they could spend the night

Well, I sent 'em up the road to the B&B

It's the only place in town, you see

But they were greeted warmly by death, horror and fright

Yeah



Well this used to be such a quiet little town

We never had too much trouble around here

'Til that spirit was released

And we were haunted by the deceased

And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here



Oh an esoteric drifter was along for the ride

He had a backpack with mysteries at his side

That would tell the tales of the Kuman Thong

Now some of you might dare say

I saw a Kuman Thong on a beach on spring break

Oh so sad that this spirit has to prove you wrong



Well the record clerk said with her own eyes

She watched a man named Robert Wise

Dig up the corpse of his new born son

And he confined it to a wooden box

Using only a ribbon for a lock

Not knowing what that spirit would become



Well this used to be such a quiet little town

We never had too much trouble around here

'Til that spirit was released

And we were haunted by the deceased

And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here



Now the hotel chef without reasonin'

Perhaps he was lookin' for seasonin'

Opened the box and became a victim quick

And our young friends went into town

Just tryin' to track some answers down

But they got in some trouble at a bar while shootin' stick



Well I lost my gig and I lost my band

But I still played on, and goddamn

I had a room full of ghouls who were checkin' out my sound

Well this one guy by the name of Johnny

Sort of a leader for us zombies

Said that we should go hunt the rest of the young ones down

Yeah



Well this used to be such a quiet little town

We never had too much trouble around here

'Til that spirit was released

And we were haunted by the deceased

And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here



Our heroes were brave and full of verve

And the drifter thought he knew how to curve

Those possessed by separating their brains

He said they had to dig up the plot

Where Wise was laid down to rot

And carve his bones 'til they resembled blades



Now Sara must have been workin' for NASA

Buildin' a shotgun that would easily blast ya

Out of pipes and wires and ammo and bullets of lead

And David and Kate dated for four years

He screwed the bride to be and Kate shed tears

'Til Dave got possessed and beat her over the head

Yeah



Well this used to be such a quiet little town

We never had too much trouble around here

'Til that spirit was released

And we were haunted by the deceased

And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here



Well we battled hard at the B&B

And we all had crushes on sweet Melody

But she had a thing for that drifter was he hung?

And Melody boned Johnny with a firm femur

Johnny died quick, he wasn't a screamer

And the wooden box burning ceremony had begun



Now Sara, Melody and the drifter

They couldn't drive out of Lovelock any swifter

They were the three remaining unpossessed people

And that wooden box that would be an urn

Well it never really started to burn

Leaving room for more zombies and a sequel

Hey, what do you know?



This used to be such a quiet little town

Yes it did!

We never had too much trouble around here

'Til that spirit was released

And we were haunted by the deceased

And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here

I said there's all this crazy shit that's going down here

Oh yeah, there's all this crazy shit that's going down here

I gotta get outta town!

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