go go go go go go go on love its my birthday
you look tarty love its my birthday
ill buy you a bacardi love its my birthday
and you know im having a laugh its not my birthday

chorus:
You can find me in the pub with a pint of bud
look love i got a fiver if you let me see your jugs
im into playing darts i aint into growing shrubs
so come fill up my mug before my bag gets stuck

You can find me in the pub with a pint of bud
look love ive got a fiver if you let me see your jugs
im into playing darts i aint into growing shrubs
so come fill up my mug before my fag gets stubbed

When i pull up out front you see my vauxhall nova
when i hit the bar its ten pints before im over
i came to watch the game coz im a blackburn rover
and i munch on m'n'm's while im down in smirn over
but only nothings changed cash down bottoms up
and i got a paper cut from rolling my rizzla up
when you watch how i move you'll mistake me for a geezer a gimp
coz i feel down my stairs and now i walk with a limp
in the crap bits of watford they say 50 you hot
they like me i want them to love me like lesbians trot
but go to hemle hempsted and they'll tell you i'm crazy
coz i once got drunk an humped a statue of a lady
but im fully focused now tea and coffee on my mind
got a part time job in the daily grind
now this girl yeah she likes my hair she likes my part
her friend is fit but she's as ugly as an-alright

chorus x 1

My girlfriend's mum gave me the cash that bought me all my fancy stuff
my couch, my fidge, my plates, my weights
look mate i'm tied down but i aint changed
and you should love it well more than i hate it
your like my dad fashion sense is outdated
im that bloke by the bar when i'm on my rounds
your the weird guy who never leaves or makes a sound
when the beats are pumping i get my macarana on
my mates drag me to my chair before the end of the song
if the roof's on fire someone dial 999
and if you wanna get drunk love it isnt a crime
i'll tell you what i tell every girls your fit, nice hair
if you dont wanna rush it heres another red square
or i could tell my mates i'll be round the back with a kronenbourg
they'll know where we'll be yeah

Chorus x 1

don't act like you dont know where iv'e been either mum
in the pub all the time mum
it's about to pop off mum
burn unit

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