I owe thirty-five dollars to the library
At Humboldt State University
But I dropped out fifteen years ago

And I never paid it and I'm still not gonna

I never got my report card
But I didn't go to class and I didn't work hard
So I didn't wanna know how bad I did
But I know I never made the dean's list

And college is a waste of time
If you wanna be a baker or a candlestick maker
You still have to wait in line
At the bank drive through and the train tracks too
Behind people like me with no degree
'Cause I know the conductor and he knows me
You might have a nicer car, but I've traveled pretty far
And all I have is an old guitar

Forty bucks for a bag of weed
In the summer nineteen ninety three
Forty dollars is all I have
And it isn't mine, it belongs to my parents

Oh, five hundred points for a roll of cookie dough
In the cafeteria they got sloppy joes
And the sloppy joes cost three points
I won't eat in the spring but hey, cookie dough

And college is a waste of time
If you wanna be a diver or a big rig driver
You still have to go to the store
And share the road with a wide load
Who's taking up all three lanes
And you can't get around him it's a big pain
And the driver hasn't slept in three whole days
But he knows one thing and that's freeways
He's got a Gatorade bottle where he goes pee
And you're behind him with your college degree

I owe thirty-five dollars to the library
At Humboldt State University
But I dropped out fifteen years ago
So I never paid it and I'm still not gonna..

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